Korea Incident
by zentanglebubblegum0727
Summary: "What do you think of the Korea Incident?" Five Answers. One from the machiavellian, one from the turbulent, one from the farouche, one from the prepossessing, and one from the barbarous. What answers will be found? And how many façades will break down? R&R!


Natalie

saccharine **Machiavellian** _fashionable_

The _Korea Incident?_ Are you joki—oh, fine. Run along, now, what's-your-name. Oh, yes, Jen. What? Is it Zen? Do I look like I care? What? _Wait,_ won't you? I was _about_ to get started! Ugh, you annoying peasants…

Hello, person whose name I don't bother to know. This, as you peasants already know, is Natalie Kabra. Now, I have heard a lot of stories on this atrocious site about how Ian apologizes to Amy for us leaving her and her pathetic brother in that cave. But frankly, I don't see the particular deal about it. Why are we being featured more than those that Tomas quintet? They blew up…that…Franklin Institute and scarred the Ekat tripling with ridiculous names. For life. Why are their crimes belittled?

Oh, I _do_ suppose that there wasa—ugh— _romantic_ something-or-other going on with that Cahill and my brother. Really, his taste frightens me sometimes…But besides that, the 'Korea Incident,' as you peasants call it, is almost always used in obnoxiously cliché stories about how we all get together for a reunion and things happen…how mundane.

But to be completely honest, I fail to see the big deal about it! Not only was the 39 clues a matter of life and death, we had a mentally unsettled _mother and father_ to deal with if we failed. So we betrayed our so-called 'cousins', about 57th removed, or something similar to that. We had only met them twice a year at most before the hunt. We barely knew each other, and Ian and I had at least 10 years of instinct to crusade against. _Do as Mummy says. Do as Papa says. Do not disgrace the family if you wish not to be punished._

What did you all expect, for us to suddenly betray our mother for a couple of very unimportant people? Listen to me, peasants-who-don't-know-or-give-a-damn-about-our-family. It was betraying our mother versus betraying our cousins. It was a matter of _life_ and _death._ Our mother would have killed us if we betrayed her, and we both knew it. We didn't want to believe it, of course, but in our heart of hearts, we always knew. Would you, dear peasant, lovely serf, _risk your life_ for two teenagers you cared almost nothing about?

The answer is simple, short, unalloyed, and elementary. Just like you, dear vilein.

No. Of course not. Don't be ridiculous, globe-trotting us around in your little stories lacking proper grammar and wording. We. Didn't. Have. A. Damned. Choice. But stop _patronizing_ me! Another genre of stories that I hate are the ones that make me sad and pathetic. I mean, I understand that you all love to write about me—who wouldn't?—but _really._ Those are not appreciated.

I believe that what my brother Ian did to Amy Cahill was completely understandable. Shut up—I'm not saying what he did was good or right or anything similar. Don't be so _stupid,_ we're not as impassive as all that. _If_ you didn't know, I'll tell you this: the words 'understandable' and 'good' have _quite_ the large gap between them!

Although I do suspect he has some feelings still...Well, she forgave and understood us, so I suppose that she isn't completely terrible. But still! The girl has absolutely horrific fashion sense! Once, I saw her wearing a neon green T-shirt and purple leggings! Out in public! Where everyone could see her! And she doesn't take care of her horrible hair. Really, give it just a decent brush and conditioner, and it would be half-decent! And her shoes are absolutely atrocious. Why would someone wear shoes made of plastic with _holes_ in them? What were they called…crocks? Krooks? I really don't understand that girl sometimes.

And let's not forget her disgusting little brother. Daniel Cahill. The one time I went on a mission with him…he almost demolished the Mona Lisa! Not that I care, but it would get us in bad shape with those Janus. And his obsession with ninjas and samurai. The only time I tried to explain that samurai were the underdogs of their lords…well. That boy doesn't take factual evidence to heart. Instead, he decided to give me a lecture on the 'awesomeness' of ninjas. Needless to say, I shot him with my dart gun—but he got angry about it! Honestly, who wouldn't have done the same in my pla—How dare you interrupt Natalie Kabra! I don't care if I have gone off-topic! Maybe you shouldn't interrupt me if you want me to give a nice answer!

Fine, fine. I'll annihilate you later.

Where was I? Oh, yes, the subject of Amy…Anyway, after the, er, the Gauntlet (I don't like to think of it much), Amy didn't have particular trouble addressing either of us, so I fail to understand why she is suddenly so sensitive in a _reunion._ You little peasants with your little lovesick stories…

And even if we were sorry, which we were, we've tried not to admit it so…ah, blatantly, as Ian is doing in so many of your stories. We're Kabras, understand? We have a _reputation_ to keep up.

Amy knows that the two of us were forced, trained, and manipulated, so why is she suddenly so sensitive? Especially when we were all gathered together and were _supposedly_ getting along well enough to be able to endure living in the same house.

I deem that highly unlikely, by the way.

So my whole oration, that is _much_ too good for a grubby little thing like you, by the way, is finally coming to this: The 'Korea Incident' that you all adore _oh-so_ much was _not_ a big damned deal! So all the rest of you so-called authors can go burn up your stories with your matchsticks you can barely save up to buy.

 _Au Revoir._

What? I don't _care_ if others think that my speech was offensive! You get the bad comments from them, not me! And let's be honest—YOU asked me to do this! YOU are the one who wasted my time. So good day, because I'm done!

P.S. Most people want to change their lives in some way, and as astonishing it may be to you, I am no exception. If I had been able to go back in time, maybe I would have done things just a _little_ bit differently. And maybe I would have said things a _tad_ bit more kindly. And even if I am the littlest bit sorry right now—which I might not be, by the way—I would certainly not admit it to you.

 **A Note from Zen: Oh, Natalie. You know you're sorry…you're just too proud to admit it. And to all of you that think that Natalie would not think this way, she doesn't. She talks to others this way, but inside, we all know that she's a good egg.**

Dan

Obstreperous **Turbulent** _Distracted_

Say what? The Korea Incident? Ohhhh, _that._ I knew somebody was going to ask me that someday. Your name is Zen? Cool, man. That sounds, like, really retro. Huh? Oh, yeah. Natalie always forgets my name, too. She calls me things like peasant, and Daniel, and vilein, and all sorts of stuff. Really annoying. Yeah, I didn't know there were so many different words for 'poor person,' either. So you want me to tell you what I thought of the Korea Incident? Okay, let's get started.

Well, I think that some stories _are_ going a bit overboard with this whole 'Amy and freaking Cobra' tragedy thing. I mean, STOP WITH THE DRAMA! So Cobra and his ugly face somehow managed to charm my dorky, geeky sister, and—wait a minute. I'm starting to retell one of those stories! What am I doing with my LIFE!? Oh, the pain, the sorrow, the…okay. I'll stop.

Actually, let me start over. Overrating the Korea Incident is actually annoying and weird in a lot of ways. Wait a moment while I think up a few things…

Okay! So annoying number one: This was the time I had to deal with a crying and moping Amy, and reliving that is NOT fun. Seriously, dude, like why is the entire world so obsessed with my ugly sister's love life? Like, I'm cooler, people! I don't have a love life, but is that necessary?

Quick quiz time! Which is cooler,

A) Ninjas, or

B) Books?

Ninjas, dudes. Ninjas.

I do NOT get these lovey-dovey people. You want tragedy? I'll tell you _tragedy_. So I was, like, spending hours and hours on this _super-epic_ ninja survival game, and on the last level, just as I was about to kick the boss's butt, there was a storm and the power went out. And the game's history was entirely wiped clean, so I had to start again at level one. _That's_ tragedy. Oh, you want to hear something else tragic? One time, Nellie was baki—what? Oh, right. Sorry. I've gone kinda off-topic.

But I guess you guys have all established annoying number one? Korea Incident=Moping Amy=Annoying Amy=Ninja Dan Commits Seppuku? Yeah, okay. Cool.

Now for annoying number two: Ian Cobra is always so NICE in these stories. It's like: "Oh, _Amy_ , I'm _sososososososo_ sorry!" in his snooty accent, and my sis is all like, "Okay!" And then they do things that are bad for my digestion. But seriously. Have you ever seen Ian Cobra act so nicely? I haven't. Actually, this reminds me of a time when I totally accidentally spilled some hot chocolate on his 'super-expensive-and-is-for-snobbish-rich-people' shirt, and he turned into, like, the Devil Incarnate or something. He's, like, evil personified. He whipped out a GUN, and not a dart gun either—a REAL gun! And he was all like: "I'M GOING TO TERMINATE YOU, DANIEL!" And I was all like: "Augh! Help me, Amy!"

That was just another day of my perilous life.

But dude, have you ever heard of, like, the wolf in the lamb's skin? Or maybe I'm confusing that with the donkey in the lion's skin…Anyway. The world should _know_ how freakish that Cobra actually is for safety reasons. Actually, both Cobras. They just do _not_ understand the fact that my name is _Dan! And_ they carry around freaking GUNS in their designer I'm-so-better-than-you clothes! Clothes. Not even pockets. They reach into their sleeves, and BAM—they have a gun pointing at your face like the Terminator or something. Do you get the point, Zen? Portraying Ian Cobra to be actually nice and sympathetic is, like, incest.

Let's imagine that you see Ian Cobra on the street and you give him a slap on the back as a friendly hello or something. Do you know what will happen? He'll whirl around and pull a dart gun from nowhere, and he'll probably point it at you. And then, he'll probably shoot it if you move or something. That dude is _paranoid._

Now, annoying number four! Wait, what? Oh, right, three. Number three. Well, some of these stories remind me of things that I don't really want to be reminded of. Like Isabel. That woman was completely crackers, let me tell you. Oh, god, now I'm getting hungry. Why are all the other words for crazy, like, food? Like nuts, or bananas…My stomach! Do you want to know the best thing I've ever eaten? So Nellie was watching this cooking show and she made us some kind of hamburger that they sell in New York. And it was so freakishly good. I think that she got some roast beef and just added honey and lemons and maybe some spices. And when you bite into it, the grease just, like, drips down your—what? Oh, right. Sorry.

Well, Ian and Natalie both said that they were sorry, so I'm cool. I'm good, now. I mean, I still hate them and they still hate me, but it's more like a hatred between siblings. I hate Amy sometimes, but she's still okay. I hate Ian, but he's cooler now. Not _cool,_ cool. Cooler than before. And as for Gnatalie, we hate each other, but we don't want to kill each other…Well, most of the time. There was this one time when I knocked over her entire set of poisons…Yeah. But I don't really see the big deal about it. I mean, that freakish mini-Cobra probably had gallons and gallons of that stuff back at home, hidden in the back of her closet or something. She's so immature…and this is coming from a dude who hears comments like that every day. And she's spoiled, too. I sometimes imagine what she would be like if she turned out like Isabel or Vikram, and I literally shiver. It's like: _brrrr._ But Gnat's dad is a weird dude. I mean, he's probably less crazy than Isabel—You can't go any further than that—but still. I think that he's the type of dude that sits at a huge desk all day, carrying out instructions for kidnap and murder. You know, like that villain guy from NinjaBusters837.

But I think it's time to stop going on and on and just say this: the Korea Incident is annoying, weird, and something that I've put behind me. _Hakuna Matata,_ right? Hey, do you know what else is weird other than the KI? Me and Amy were going to this bookstore for our school projects, and—Woah! I'm getting distracted again. Things happen when you're hungry.

Yeah, thanks for listening. It was fun insulting the Cobras. Well, this ninja is going to go ask Nellie for some cupcakes!

Bye, Ninja-Lovers!

 **A Note from Zen: In the third-to-last paragraph, you may have noticed that Dan said "Me and Amy," instead of "Amy and I." That was completely intentional. Oh, Dan. You're so imperfectly perfect. And this interview is kind of sad in a way because…well…the reason that Dan is getting so distracted is because this is a topic that still pains him to this day. Not the Korea Incident, exactly, but more of the hunt in general. But he's cool about it. He's a cool dude. He doesn't go like: "Natalie did THIS and Ian did THAT!" That's why I adore him—he's such a bright, ambivalent character.**

Amy

Introspective **farouche** _bibliophilic_

Oh, the Korea Incident. A big dramatic point in my life. Um, what's your name again? Right, Zen. That's a pretty name. My stutter? It's gone nowadays unless I get super emotional, which doesn't happen much. So, um, let's get started.

First, I'm pretty sure that I would have said something pretty different back when I was fourteen. I mean, I had liked Ian, and he had betrayed me. I probably would have cursed a fair amount of times as well. But now that I know what they had gone through during the hunt, I can give a different, less embarrassing answer. Oh! And to all of those who insist that my hair is 'bright red,' my hair has always been closer to brown. Sorry to disappoint. Moving on!

Well, I'm sure that all of you know what happened. When we were hunting for a new clue in South Korea, we had an alliance with Uncle Alistair, Ian, and Natalie. And, well, the three of them betrayed us in some way or another. But the betrayal that most people think is interesting is the one with the Kabras, mostly because it was more intense, dramatic...I mean, they trapped us in a cave and left us to die. But I _do_ understand that part of them didn't want to leave us behind at all. After I saw Isabel and how she acted to her kids—she shot her own daughter!—I understood that they _had_ to do whatever she told them to if they wanted to live. So I get that in their point of view, they had two choices—disobey their mother and come to our side, where they would surely be punished, or obey their mother and hope for a longer life. And let's not forget their father! He neglected them, and the second he heard they failed—boom! He canceled their credit cards and disowned them, just like _that_. This could have happened anytime during the hunt lest they fail. So I understand why they betrayed us.

In fact, Ian told me some horror stories about how she treated them before they emancipated themselves. Physical abuse, scathing words…even death threats. He said that she even locked up Natalie in a room for a day—no light, no space. That was enough to mentally traumatize her. For life. Ian says he's grateful that Natalie is still the same today…but who knows?

But I don't exactly like the fact that they betrayed us. I mean, who would? I understand, and I forgive them, but even now it's a little hard to choke down. They left us to _die_. I guess if they hadn't cut off the alliance it would—no, _could—_ have been worse, but a cave? Attempted murder? Death? I honestly didn't know they were capable of something like that. And I probably annoyed Dan for weeks because of my moping around. Well, let's just say that I can't really blame him. I mean, what if Dan had a crush on Natalie, and she betra—actually, let's stop there. I can barely talk about them getting together without bursting into giggles. Sorry, dweeb.

Oh! I hope that you don't think I'm trying to be all melodramatic because I'm not. I've gotten over it. They apologized after the hunt, as did the Holts to the Starlings. Frankly, I wonder sometimes about why Ian and I are more often featured than those two families. Say what you want to say, but while Uncle Alistair, Dan, and I all made it out of the cave, the Starlings are scarred for life, whether physically or emotionally.

And Ian…he's a friend. We're not anything more than that. I mean, who knows? Someday that friendship could turn into something else! But for now, we're friends. Also, I can't imagine Ian ever getting down on his knees and apologizing for something, however harsh or cruel. And I could never picture myself so emotional about something that happened months or years before. We're at a _reunion,_ for Gideon's sake! Can't we just get together, get along, and say goodbye to each other the following week or so?

Natalie…she's a different story. I don't think she could even endure staying in the same house as El Dweebo, A.K.A Dan, for more than a full minute. The last time they were together, Dan knocked over an entire set of her poisons (don't ask) right onto her favorite dress. The dress…well, it was beyond repair, and apparently, it was a limited edition that they weren't selling anymore. She didn't vent her anger on me, but to him…Let's not mention that story. It involves near death.

But it's not like Ian and I _don't_ fight. There was that one time when Dan spilled some hot chocolate on his Ralph Lauren shirt, and he literally took out a _real_ gun and held it in Dan's face. I mean, seriously. Was a shirt that important? You could wash it, or we could have supplied him with another one. It still makes me annoyed.

…Huh? Oh, sorry. I've gone off topic.

The Korea Incident, you asked.

It was hurtful, it was painful, it was disappointing, but I have to admit that I learned a lot of things from the KI—and the clue hunt itself! Here's a small list:

You _can_ forgive somebody who has tried to kill you. It will take time, but you can. There can be cunning Madrigals. There can be ingenious Tomas. There can be artistic Ekaterinas. There can be caring Lucians. There can be sportsman Janus.

See? It just goes around and around and around. Never catching on loose branches or scurrying around corners.

No matter how we try to deny it, we _are_ family. And so I forgave them.

Wait, what's that I smell? Nellie's red velvet _cupcakes?_ Um, it was super nice meeting you! But I have to go right now if I want to eat some! Uh, yeah! Of course, you can come! Run! Run before Dan eats all of them!

 **A Note from Zen: She's a responsible leader of the Madrigals, a dangerous and well-trained agent, a thoughtful and intelligent girl…with just one weakness—an amazing's chef's equally amazing red velvet cupcakes! XD**

Ian

Debonair **poised** _prepossessing_

The _Korea_ Incident? Really, I thought that Fiske had stopped sending Madrigal agents to inconvenience me…Just go away, alright? I'm rather busy at the moment. What? You aren't a Madrigal agent? Then what are you? A Vesper? Ah, a Janus. Ugh, Zen. What a ridiculous name—it is certainly _not_ better than Ian! And the name is Kabra! You've obviously met Daniel…Cobra—how absurd. Fine, fine. I'll do it just to get you out of my office. Just stand over there, but do _not_ touch that beaker—It can kill you. Well, not that I really care, but that's expensive, even by my standards. Now, to get started…

First of all, stop pitying me, you fools. I'm a Lucian. Your compassion, your pity, and your sympathy do nothing, nothing, _nothing_ to make me feel better. In truth, it actually quite annoys me. So stop. I don't want to threaten any of you.

And for Gideon's sake, I've read some of the stories on this pathetic little site and they absolutely disgust me. I _apologized,_ alright? Why do you all have to rub it in my face? Why would I _cry_ during my apology? Why isn't Natalie there with me? And why am I saying the word 'love' once every three seconds? Really, you all quite enjoy making me look pathetic, don't you? Well, I understand that many of you are enamored with me and find it a privilege to write about my life. But these…lies…about my personality are disgusting. You dare to insult Ian Kabra!

And listen…Amy Cahill…she's an acquaintance. Or friend. Even _if_ I had some sort of other emotion towards her, I most certainly would _not_ share it with you. If I were to share it, then I would share it with a person who had some sort of emotional privilege. Not…whoever you are. You little peasant. Where are those hideous clothes from?

…Where is that?

Although most of you would probably like for me to break down, to admit my undying love for Amy Cahill…it's not going to happen! Oh, I'm sure all of you would like me to feel sorry, to go and apologize again and again to Amy, but I'm fine. If I said that I was sorry, I would be lying. It's in the past. I'm perfectly fine. Perfectly fine.

I made mistakes. For a while, I honestly believed that our family was _perfect_ and that I was _perfect_ and that we always had been. Then I opened my eyes.

Actually, let's not say that. I had already opened my eyes a crack, a sliver. Well, that had caused me to get slapped by my own mother, but let's not dwell on that. Oh, for a little while as children, I irrationally believed that my mother was an angel—no, a _god_ —that couldn't do _anything_ wrong. But as I grew older, and I noticed our family's unfeelingness toward each other…well. My state of mind was confirmed when I was forced to watch her being trialed for murder.

And then there was Korea. There will always be Korea. You know, I would like that place if it weren't shrouded in so many memories. Same with Venice. Egypt. Even our home country, England.

Korea, you asked me.

The Korea Incident didn't really impact my life much at the time. Our family needed the 39 clues, so I tried to collect them. It wasn't really anything more than that. I didn't like to do my own dirty work, and so 'technically', I thought, 'I am not killing them.' I was a coward. There, I admitted it. I can see you trying to hold back a frown, _Zen._

And let's not forget our dear parents—Vikram and Isabel. They would have killed us. No, we didn't believe it then—didn't _want_ to believe it then, but Natalie and I now know full well that they would have killed us if necessary. Every time that we failed, our mother's treatment towards us was more and more forceful. Threats, scathing words, even physical punishment. Natalie was locked up in a steel room for twenty-four hours. It was dark, damp, dirty, confined...When she came out, she was screaming and sobbing for forgiveness. It was one of the most horrific sights in my entire life, which is saying a lot. And what did our mother do? She laughed. She laughed and told her that this was nothing, that this was only the beginning. I've never felt so much hatred in my entire life.

But I will be straightforward and say this: We weren't even marginally close at the time with the Cahills, although after several attempts we've become less inauspicious and more trusting.

And really, what we did was foolish. It was, to put it simply, a debauched thing to do. But we didn't have a choice. The reason: we were cowardly children, who had been deceived into thinking that their mother was picture-perfect when she was anything but. I feel compunction about thinking so. And I regret betraying them.

But really, who wouldn't regret almost killing _them?_

The obstreperous duo. One shy, but secretly brave, the other outspoken but secretly afraid.

I wish that we could have been like that.

 **A Note from Zen: Oh, Ian. You're just like Natalie. But you're a bit more mature. And let's give a cheer for Ian Kabra for telling me this much about himself without death threats or blackmail!**

Isabel

Iniquitous **alluring** _barbarous_

Ah, the Korea Incident! One of my most favorite moments of the hunt, right behind the Gauntlet and the Franklin Institute! I must admit, it was absolutely delightful to watch play out. Oh, don't act so surprised, little girl, you really think that I hadn't attached all sorts of microphones and cameras to their clothes? My disgusting son had some sort of…affection for the Cahill girl, and I was planning to dispose of him should he fail. Needless to say, he didn't, which is why he is here with us today.

I did work hard on my part to toughen them up. You do realize this, don't you? They weren't exactly the ideal Lucians. Once, Ian got lost in Los Angeles, and had to take a _taxi_ back to our hotel! He was absolutely filthy—who knows where those taxis have been? And Natalie once held a dart gun the wrong way! A dart gun! It was probably one of the stupidest mistakes she had ever made—and then she shot it. She was out like a light for two hours by her own hand. Isn't that humiliating? Oh, my children. My sweethearts. So pathetic. So unworthy.

Now, darling, let's go on with the quick summary. I'm sure you already know, but I do love recalling my _former_ children's most devious moments. I had ordered my son to seduce that tongue-twisted Cahill girl, manipulate her and her disgustingly immature brother, and then leave them…trapped or poisoned somewhere. I believe my exact words were:

"Get rid of the both of them so that they can't, ah, _participate_ any longer. I cannot believe that they are overtaking my darlings on something they've trained for all their life!"

Don't look at me like that. I can still probably dispose of you even though there are bars between us. How you even got in, I don't know…And it _was_ the truth. That pathetic duo had jumped into the hunt without any forewarning, and yet they were better than my children. How insulting to the family!

But it was all in the name of good parenting. You have to add a barb in there somewhere if you want the right effect. But moving back to the topic—the petrified look on the girl's face as she was mercilessly betrayed…it was absolutely priceless. Smile wrinkles are almost as bad as frown wrinkles—I'm sure you know. But that day, I really couldn't help it. I laughed. I smiled. And I was proud of them, which, I assure you, doesn't happen very often. In fact, they disappoint me a lot more often.

Why?

Because they are like _him._ Vikram.

They are just like their father—cowardly, stiff, and unable to hide their emotions naturally…missing all the marks of the true Lucians that I expected them to be. But the Korea Incident…it was like the wonderful feeling I have after a fresh beautification treatment. That maybe, just maybe, they had it in them to become true Lucians. Manipulative, power-hungry, ruthless.

What do I think of the Korea Incident? I think it was lovely—pun intended most surely!

 **A Note from Zen: Oh, god. She's calling me darling. I'm…I'm hyperventilating! Call 911! *chokes out of pure horror***


End file.
